Well, my lovely new boss...
- did i tell you i got a new job since last summers miserable time of writing this blog (see previous entries)
Yeah - well i finally went for the thing that i was discussing and decided that i probably was selling out a little, but figured did i want to be that pure anyway?
Since i let go of a little professional seriousness and intensity i have felt lots happier all round.

Anyway, my lovely new boss caused a bit of a catasrophie today at work, which is very unusual. So, it meant i had to stay and sort it out and couldnt get to see Vauna, my cambridge diet counsellor.

I couldnt be weighed to see how much i had lost, - dissapointed hugely. And, worse, i couldnt go and get more suppies of the diet.

However, that fantastic woman has taken my packs home with her and i am picking them up from her house on thursday. What a relief.

So, the diet continues.

Good, because i am in the right frame of mind.

I wanna be thin again, I wanna be thin again, I wanna be thin again, I wanna be thin again, I wanna be thin again, I wanna be thin again, I wanna be thin again, I wanna be thin again, .......

I have been off the diet for ages now - and fed up with getting nowhere again.

So, i went to a Cambridge Diet counsellor in Nottingham. She explained how it all worked, which is the same (diet wise, but not therapy wise) as Lighterlife.

I did it for 10 days. Then i had a family upset. Silly really. I started to overeat again, big style. I wasnt particularly enjoying it, but it was making me relaxed and able to sleep.

Anyway- after about a week of eating, I have now been back on the Cambridge Diet for 5 days. Vauna, the counsellor, was very good with me. She helped me to get back on track by keeping in touch with me by email - and that has been essential. I would have normally been so ashamed that i wouldnt dare to go back.

But she said that its ok because its not uncommon to go on and off before really doing it for good. (However, she did assure me that those sickening people who suceed first time also do really exist - but they may have failed loads of other times on other diets)

- oops, i am not supposed to say 'failed', Vauna says there is no failure, only feedback - in other words,
be honest with yourself and acknowledge what has happened (the feedback) i.e. eating very un-diet foods in very un-healthy amounts. And then ask yourself, "what do i learn from that?" (using the feedback in a positive way, rather than to feel hopeless and dissapointed)

Obviosuly the answer is that i learned that i was unhappy because i wasnt still on the diet and continuing to lose weight and feel good. (you do feel amazingly great on the cambridge diet, - very energetic, light, optimistic, and awake!)

I learned that i was really missing thoes great feelings, and i was not getting as much done (on the diet, you start to get loads done in life because you have more energy, and because you dont need to rest after a meal, A diet meal just takes a few minutes and then you're back to getting on with your life - and you're not spending hours shopping for food, preparing it, cooking it, eating it, washing the pots or loading the dishwasher and tidying up! Its fab!)

so i learned that i was unhappy because i had lost those good feelings, and dissapointed because i had let my goal slip from my grasp again.

Vauna said, "It doesnt matter how many times you try, what does matter is that you never stop - you keep going - and then you WILL get there," She said, "No other outcome is possible if you keep going, is it?"

Can't argue with that one can you? Obvious really. Made it simple for me - all i have to do is just keep going. If I Err, or slip up - she said, "Just draw a line under it, and STAY ON THE PATH OF YOUR GOAL - so just keep going, do not say to yourself that you have stopped the diet - say that you are still on it, and CARRY ON"

Works for me!

She even said, "Do not put the diet away out of sight - keep it in the place that you normally keep it for convenient daily use - if your long term goal is to lose all the weight that you dream of and lose it with this method that is already working, then keep the diet in its place so that it is still convenient for daily use - and keep using it daily, no matter what happens"

I hadn't still used the diet as well as eating - i must confess that i did not move the diet packs, but i just didnt open that cupboard!!!
So now i HAVE moved them and i have put them in a cupboard that i have to open anyway. When i see them, i am going to have three per day even if i am eating (which i hope i will not) and when i am dieting i am going to have my three packs as normal.

I know you might be thinking that i am setting myself up for failure by saying 'when i'm eating' - as if i am almost planning that there will be times that i am eating - maybe I am planning that? Well, i do know one thing, when i have done it before, i have always said i will 'Never' eat throughout the whole program of weight loss (apart from the add-a-meal week when you are supposed to eat something) - and you know what? Saying 'never' didnt work for me.

Vauna said "If what you are doing isnt working, don't do more of the same, but do something else instead"

So, how much do i weigh?

I'm not telling you that just yet.

Have i put all the weight back on that i lost?

Nope.

Have i put some back on?

Yep.

Quite a lot?

Yep.

will i get it off?

Yep.

Will i tell you what i weigh?

Yes i will, - i will tell you after one month.

Hows that?