A lot has happened.
I plucked up enough courage to telephone my colleague, the aforementioned 'big woman who has lost four stones'.
After pleasantries, i said that i had noticed that she was looking fabulous and wondered whether she was willing to let me into her 'secret'. She admitted losing weight on the lighterlife program, (I KNEW it!) and has lost almost one and a half stones in under four weeks.
I am astounded.
She enthused for ages about the merits of not having to go to the supermarket ever, and being full of energy, having a good internal clear out and detox, and losing weight, and not having to cook (she's also got her husband on it, clever woman).
I sighed.
"Yeah but what about going to the toilet?", I moaned,
"All that water!" I wailed.
"That IS the ONLY thing" she firmly replied. "Everything you do, you have to go to the loo first, and then go to the loo again afterwards."
I groaned.
In meetings i already do that, and sometimes, only very very occasionally - usually when i'm on a fad diet - or a detox program - I have to make an excuse to come out so i can empty my bladder".
"Well, surely, it must take about two weeks to wean yourself off the food?" said I.
I heard her titter, "No, just the first few days you feel a little odd, and out of sorts, then you go into Ketosis...blah, blah, blah"
Yeah, i remembered that from the Atkins diet that i didnt lose weight on either, when a different colleague lost two stones doing it.
So, between recalling the Atkins failure, and feeling annoyed at big woman laughing at the thought of me in pain from weaning myself off food, I had a moment of sulky silence.
Big woman, has a big heart. She enthused me and urged me to do it. She asked me to keep in touch with her about it.
I feel grateful, that i might have a buddy in this anticipated brutal battle ahead.
I mean, surely, surely, surely, its not going to be easy is it?
How can weeks, no - lets be absolutely gruesomely detailed about this - it will be at least six months for me to lose six stones - six months of "Nil by Mouth" (except for the 'foodpacks'). Oh and i forgot, Big woman said you're allowed tea and coffee. Humph, how can it be a detox then?
I sulk again.
Its no good though.
I have no choice. I am fat. I am obese. I am unhappy and i am unhealthy. I do not lose weight by dieting. Over the last five years all different ways of removing the fat from my body have resulted in me being my highest EVER weight.
I'm about 14 stones and i am 5 foot five inches tall. My BMI is calculated at over 32 (30 is obese) and added to that i am small boned, i have a fairly delicate skeleton, and i have always until the last six years of my life, been a size 8, 10 or 12.
Now i am a size 18.
I am disgusted.
Last night i watched Big Brother (7). It is the one with 'Perfect Pete' and 'Shabaz' and 'Sezer' and 'Beefcake Richard' and lots of lovely nubile girls. They all jumped into the outdoor pool togehter and had a fun time.
I wished that i could do that.
Used to.
Can't now - well i could, but everyone else would climb out!
As you may have realised, reader, I'm in a depressed state today. 
So sorry for being an arse.
Lets wish for a sunnier outlook tomorrow, hey?
Thanks for reading.
