Ok, so day two has been done.
Only 181 days to go!
I hopped on my scales today - only so that i could guestimate how in synch they are with the scales in Venus' office. I suppose its a bit obsessive, and I'm sure that any of you VLCD pro's are tut-tutting at weighing between sessions.
I know its bad, but surely this time it did no harm?
Anyway, i don't know what i weighed on my scales when i started a couple of days ago - so i'm not checking for weight loss - just taking a starting weight, i guess.
Last night, as you know, i drank about 4 litres of water late on in the evening, and then went to bed on it.
During the night i went to the loo in my sleep about 10 times. Could have been more.
Even though i have an ensuite, it was still exhausting. I woke up tired, because of having disturbed sleep. And i realise that this can't go on. I don't know how i am going to manage the water intake and outtake. It does concern me.
Anyway, the second day has been managed succesfully.
I had a small mug of tea early, and then saw two patients. My loo breaks were ok to be had at the times scheduled in and i felt relief at not having to be excused mid-session.
So, when i finished sessions at 11-30 am i thought that i would nip out to the bank and then come back and guzzle a 2 litre bottle of water. This way i could pee it out by the time i start the evening round of patients at 5-30pm.
But something cropped up and i couldn't get out for a further hour. Because i had a headache I decided to eat the bar instead of hav ewater, because i was scared of being in the bank and needing the loo). It was fruit flavour bar with, yet again, a white chocolate covering. It was ok, but i think yesterdays toffee was better.
Anyway, i did go to the bank, i walked up, which i always do unless its absolutely blowing a gail or stormy outside. I made a mental note that throughout the program I will do as much activity and exercise as I can manage. I hope that i'm not too weak or dizzy throughout the program. I think activity and exercise will help lose just that extra bit per week, and obviously that is good. Also, it will help tone. When i'm lighter i can do proper exercise, but at the moment i'm a bit big for anything more than brisk walking. Just one stone lighter and i'll manage the 'Keli Roberts Ultimate Step workout' video again. Last summer i was doing the whole video every day from end of January to end of May, sometimes twice per day, and eating sensibly and healthily and i still only went down one half of a dress size!! (but i did hav eeating binges as well, sigh).
Anyway, i digress, reader. I went up to the bank - and, as you know, it was very hot and sunny today. I did feel a little peculiar - but its to be expected. I was just a little spacey, but not overly so - and my eyes felt different - i guess my vision was affected. In the bank i didn't add up the paying-in-slip correctly, which was a tad embarrasing, but not as embarrasing as walking around the high street with a pair of black trousers on and a long-sleeved nylon shirt (moulds-but-doesn't-cling, remember) on a beautiful summer day. An embarrasment that i have learned to even not care about anymore. Anyhow, people just don't see you - you are just invisible when you're obese.
As i was walking I remembered reading in Mikes blog that he wrote that he tested his urine for ketosis, and that was good. (because Ketsosis is the method of fat burning). So, since Venus didn't give us a stick, i popped into the pharmacy and bought a pack of 'Ketostix' for under a fiver.
When i got back i drank the first 2 litres of water of the day -and took some phone calls and then took my ketosis test. The colour of the stick was the lightest pink. I was dissapointed because i wanted it to be further up the scale (i.e. my pee to contain more ketones). Looking at the instructions that came with the product didnt help, because they only explain about how to do the test and the rest is for diabetes - no mention of what to look for to see what is the right amount of saturation of ketosis for weight loss.
I had a headache and so i lay down and had a nap for an hour. On waking up to someone on the telephone trying to sell me useless advertising space, i went into the office and had a look at my emails. Then i remembered the discovery forum for weight loss - there are loads of people doing VLCD's on there and they are good people.
here's the forum - its the 'weight loss' one.
http://www.discoveryhealth.co.uk/forum3/
I found the answer to my question. Yes, the lightest pink is ketosis. Hurrah!!! and it seems that dark purple is not the way to weight-loss-heaven - it just means you're dyhydrated and will not necessarily lose weight.
I'm following Induction strictly; why won't my strips turn purple?
Ketones will spill into the urine ONLY when there is more in the blood than is being used as fuel by the body at that particular moment.
You may have exercised or worked a few hours previously, so your muscles would have used up the ketones as fuel, thus there will be no excess. You may have had a lot of liquids to drink, so the urine is more diluted. Perhaps the strips are not fresh, or the lid was not on tight and some moisture from the atmosphere got in.
Some low carbers NEVER show above trace or negative even ... yet they burn fat and lose weight just fine. If you're losing weight, and your clothes are getting looser, you're feeling well and not hungry all the time .. then you are successfully in ketosis. Don't get hung up on the strips; they're just a guide, nothing more.
Will I lose weight faster if the strips show dark purple all the time?
No. Testing in the darkest purple range all the time is usually a sign of dehydration -- the urine is too concentrated. You need to drink more water to dilute it, and keep the kidneys flushed.
The liver will make ketones from body fat, the fat you EAT, and from alcohol --- the ketone strips have no way of distinguishing the source of the ketones. So, if you test every day after dinner, and dinner usually contains a lot of fat, then you may very well test for large amounts of ketones all the time. However this does not indicate that any BODY fat was burned.
The strips only indicate what's happening in the urine. Ketosis happens in the blood and body tissues. If you're showing even a small amount, then you are in ketosis, and fat-burning is taking place. Don't get hung up on the ketone sticks.
So, i felt ecstatic after that - thought - "Yeah, i'm doing it, i'm doing it".
However i do feel unconvinced that after two weeks the diet is easy. some people say that it gets easy after the first few days when the hunger dissapears. I can't imagine it ever being 'easy'. I'd be much more satisfied eating food - but i shall be much happier in the long run by getting this weight off in the VLCD way. But the process of VLCD, no its not nice. And i still have 181 days. Oh, how am i going to do it? I just don't know. But i know that i can't NOT do it. I will not stop doing the diet. I will continue until i lose my seven stones (it was six, but after being weighed i realise its seven i need to lose).
I've had moments of serious regret today.
This is a significant manefestation.
You see, reader, all along the last seven years that i have been putting this seven stones on, i have regretted eating the food, usually not long after i've done it - or the next morning (food-binge-hangover) but this feeling today is different.
Its a different kind of regret. Regret proper?
Perhaps.
The other regret i think is more like shame, mixed with sadness and maybe a bit of scare.
But this new type of regret is definately sorrow.
I only got glimpses of the feeling for a few occasions today. And those glimpses took me by surprise.
In those moments i felt regret for doing those bizarre eating behaviours (binges, etc) and the regret was for doing that eating behaviour (which has damaged my body, my relationships, my prospects and my social life). Why did i do that to myself?
I can't provde an answer that makes any sense. It defies logic.
I wonder why i have felt regret only today?
Seven years on from initially feeling desperate, helpless, abandoned, trapped and lost and terrified and miserable.
Seven years of overeating and binge eating.
And seven stones heavier.
Good grief.
i have no answer.
I wonder whether the destructive alcoholic who has reached 'rock-bottom' gets those glimpses of real regret as they sober up while in the first days of rehab?
If so, then are we talking of the same dynamic as alcohol addiction?
How gross.
How pathetic.
How wasteful.
